And I chat a bit, and I try very hard no to have a drink so I make some tea and have a toast instead. And at bout 1:00 AM I decide to go to bed and turning the TV on and off reading and listening to music, turning the light on, then off then on again, I can’t find that rest, and the apartment feels even more strange and threatening then it had been the first night I slept here, I masturbate a couple of times just to try and fall asleep. Eventually I do fall asleep only to wake up 2 hours later feeling disoriented and scared, I tuned the TV on and watch half of a late night movie before I manage to fall asleep again.
The world feels so alien today, weekend feeling so eventful and intense I can’t even imagine the shower I have to take now, and the office to go to and the casual water cooler interaaction that’s going to take place about an hour from this moment. I feel a very different person, like I have grown and shrink and grown again so many times over the period of 2 days and a night, I don’t belong there anymore. And I know that a couple of hours in the office or by the afternoon at least, this feeling shell pass, but for now - it’s there.