I grind my cunt deeper into the pillow, it’s my period and though I have a tampon in, I keep thinking of raising my head and seeing the pillow solid with blood and some vague childhood memory, a crystal dream of a sensation, just a sliver of a moment long gone, which I can’t associate with specific time or story frame awaken in me, I’m flooded with the sweetest shame of knowing that I’m doing something that is forbidden and wrong and knowing that soon enough the world’s going to make that switch from childhood monochrome into multicolor adulthood, and not even knowing how or why what I was doing was so privet but still sensing with child instinct that this is not the kind of things that I’m supposed to ever talk about or even think about out of my bed, out of the night.
And I grind myself harder into the pillow and whimper as my mouth and hands can’t carry me up anymore and I collapse into the mattress, sweaty and wet, I turn to my back and press my hand against my clit pushing, pulling, pinching, my other hand grasping hard at the bed pole till I can feel my shoulder muscles tightening, my mouth on my arm, my skin my shoulder, biting, pulling the skin hard till it hurts, And I’m knocking my heels 3 times and thinking about his warm body, about his strength, about his arms and chest and cock, and I feel like I am going home “let it out, he say, scream as hard as you can” and I do, and as I cum I feel like I’m open to him, like my mind and heart and guts are all open torn out of me and left out for him to look at in that green glowing light.